Initially excited about wading back into ministry, I am now serving Him, living in a new town and wow--alone, fixed and feeling kinda stuck. Since my last post I have changed jobs, careers and moved to a wilderness about an hour east of what I began to know as my life. Funny that even though you know transition and change are just 'around the corner,' one is never quite as prepared for that change as you think. It honestly didn't hit me until I was somewhat settled in my new life--maybe six months into it. With time that never ceases, my new life quickly kicked in with new commitments, schedules and responsibilities, while old life's pages lingered with dust as old friends continued to mingle and live. How is that my new life is distant from what was once home and has now become somehow foreign, even to me?
This is probably the best place I can be as I don't ever think I can remember being or feeling this way--even when relocating to entirely new state smack dab in the middle of our country. Lonely as I may be, this is not only what life has served me as I sit, eat, all while hoping for a new shift to take place, this is also where He has called me. Clinging to Him more than ever, I am praying and hoping that this feeling of despair and sadness will soon leave--it must.
So I stay. The only way I forge forward is through prayer and praise. In the Spirit. Even in trust, walls are there. Am thankful He sent mom out this way--His timing is all too perfect. How does one go through life this way while not knowing Him? A scary thought, indeed. Though alone, I know that all the while, He is right here.
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